Black & White
Divorce used to be such a taboo subject. Something we talked about in closed circles, usually with a hint of disdain or worse, sympathy. I grew up in this type of environment because no one I knew had gotten a divorce and all our family friends have been married for as long as I can remember!
I always thought divorce was such a sad thing. I mean, how do 2 people who love each other, make a vow to love each other through all manners of adversity and strife... just stop loving each other? Do people fall OUT of love? Why do they just give up instead of trying to make things work?
How naive and condescending I was.
There are so many reasons why things don't work out. The most obvious reason to me is when one party is infidel (and even then it might not be a deal breaker) but that is by no means the only reason. Life is just not that black and white.
Feelings change, people change. It's inevitable. Whether the changes can be accepted by either party is the important thing. When 2 people get married they are usually starting on the same page and moving towards the same direction. But for that to go on indefinitely is just not possible because eventually one person will be changing directions and the other will have to make compromises to accommodate. When no one wants to give way, that's when problems start to occur.
Forever Love is a beautiful concept but it really doesn't make a marriage work.
Anyway, short of sounding like a marriage counselor, I have one advice for those who are thinking of entering into holy matrimony. Talk to each other before you make that big step into the unknown. Make sure you really are on the same page, moving towards the same direction, committed to making things work come hell or high water before saying your "I DO's". Otherwise, you will find yourself in a very unhappy situation.
As for me, lets just say I no longer see in black and white only.
I always thought divorce was such a sad thing. I mean, how do 2 people who love each other, make a vow to love each other through all manners of adversity and strife... just stop loving each other? Do people fall OUT of love? Why do they just give up instead of trying to make things work?
How naive and condescending I was.
There are so many reasons why things don't work out. The most obvious reason to me is when one party is infidel (and even then it might not be a deal breaker) but that is by no means the only reason. Life is just not that black and white.
Feelings change, people change. It's inevitable. Whether the changes can be accepted by either party is the important thing. When 2 people get married they are usually starting on the same page and moving towards the same direction. But for that to go on indefinitely is just not possible because eventually one person will be changing directions and the other will have to make compromises to accommodate. When no one wants to give way, that's when problems start to occur.
Forever Love is a beautiful concept but it really doesn't make a marriage work.
Anyway, short of sounding like a marriage counselor, I have one advice for those who are thinking of entering into holy matrimony. Talk to each other before you make that big step into the unknown. Make sure you really are on the same page, moving towards the same direction, committed to making things work come hell or high water before saying your "I DO's". Otherwise, you will find yourself in a very unhappy situation.
As for me, lets just say I no longer see in black and white only.
posted by Kea | 12:33 AM
2 Comments:
dear wk, mentally support your every single decision made.
yeah..here too!! oen shimasuyo!
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